20
Nov, 2019

Never Alone

Have you ever walked into a room full of people and just felt completely alone. Its the kind of feeling that you could walk into a stadium of people and feel like you are the only one there. Have you been there?

That is exactly how I felt this past Sunday.

I work with the youth at my church on Sunday and Wednesday nights. This past Sunday, we were all gathered around talking, like we usually do but I felt completely alone. There were probably 10-13 people in the room talking and laughing but I felt invisible. It didn’t matter who I talked to or how much I was involved in the conversation, I felt like I was totally alone.

I also felt like I was totally alone in how I felt too.

My chest felt tight and at times it felt hard to breath. I tried to keep up conversation in order to not let on to anyone about how I felt. Sometimes I’m good at hiding it. Other times, I’m not. Depends on the situation and the people around me. 

All I wanted to do was curl up and cry. I wished I was back in bed, hiding from the world and going back to sleep. 

After church, my husband was driving and asked me to put on “God Only Knows” by For King and Country. We had heard it a few times the previous days so I wasn’t sure why he wanted to listen to it again. (Check out the version with For King and Country and Dolly Parton!) So I found the song and played it. After listening to it for a moment or two, I realized why he wanted the song to play. 

He was wanting me to listen to it. Not just sing along with a song that I know fairly well but to actually listen to what the message of the song is. 

This song speaks to those who feel alone and feel as if no one else understands what they are going through. 

One part that stood out to me as the end of the first verse “Nobody, nobody, nobody sees you

Nobody, nobody, nobody would believe you” 

Hearing this part resonated with me on how I was feeling. I felt like no one saw me Sunday. That I was invisible and didn’t matter. ( I know that is not true but that is how I felt) I didn’t think anyone would believe how I felt. It seemed like people might try to dismiss how I was feeling instead of trying to understand it. 

The first part of the chorus says: 

God only knows what you’ve been through

God only knows what they say about you

God only knows how it’s killing you

But there’s a kind of love that God only knows

God only knows what you’ve been through

God only knows what they say about you

God only knows the real you

There’s a kind of love that God only knows

The most powerful part of this whole song, for me anyway is when it starts talking about the love that God knows. Only God can love us the way He does. Even when we feel totally and completely alone, He is there with us. He was with me Sunday, regardless if I knew that or felt it or not. He is a loving God who will never leave you. 

He knows everything you have been through. 

He knows everything people say about you. 

He knows who you really are. 

Psalm 139:13“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” 

He is the One who created you. He created me. He knows the number of hairs you have on your head. He knows you better than you know yourself. 

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you or forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6).

No matter what is going on in your life, cling to this one truth: He will NEVER leave you! Even if everyone else around you does, He won’t. Whatever He brings you to, He will bring you through it. This is what I had forgotten Sunday. This is what the song reminded me of. God used the song to remind me of His love and how much He cares for me. 

Another song that God brought up this week is “Another in the Fire” by Hillsong. The basic message of the song is that no matter what you are going through, God will be right there with you. There is actually a line that says you are never alone. This is is what stood out to me in this song. But also the part that is the title of the song “There was another in the fire standing next to me.” 

This song is based on a story of three friends in the book of Daniel 

 In Daniel 3, three men, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, refused to bow to the idols of the king in Babylon. The king gave them another chance and when they refused, the king had them thrown into a firey furnace. While they were in the furnace, they saw another man in there with them. 

(Daniel 3:24-25) 

24 Then King Nebuchadnezzar leaped to his feet in amazement and asked his advisers, “Weren’t there three men that we tied up and threw into the fire?”

They replied, “Certainly, Your Majesty.”

25 He said, “Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods.”

No matter what happens, God will be right in the fire next to you. He will comfort you, guide you lead you. Psalm 23:8 says “You prepare a table before me    in the presence of my enemies.” 

We are never left on our own to defend ourselves. God is always there helping us and protecting us. The times when we feel like we are completely alone are the times that we need to cling to these truths the most. Satan likes to use our emotions to make us think that God is not there and that He does not care about us. That is so far from the truth and is a lie from hell. 

The next time you feel completely alone, talk to God. look up any of these verses or listen to these songs to remind yourself that you are never alone. 

God is always with you. 

I pray you remember that this week. 

I pray you have a wonderful and great Thanksgiving. 

Please let me know how I can pray for you. 

Until next time, 

God Bless. 

13
Nov, 2019

One thing at a time.

Life lately has been so crazy and chaotic. I feel like I have said that a lot lately but it is still very true. I’ve been so busy with work and church and my own personal life that I have not had a moment to breath yet alone work on anything for the art studio. It will probably only get worse once the holidays start.

Lately I have felt depressed. For the better part of a week or so, I woke up feeling frustrated and depressed and the feeling was with me all day. I would go through my day to day routine but I was not enjoying any of it. I was simply going through the motions and trying to “fake it til you make it” but that generally did not work.

I struggled with this for about about a week and a half before I was finally able to put my feelings into art. It always seems that when I can show how I feel in art, that I finally start feeling better. This particular piece was done digitally.

(I am starting to play around with digital art more but traditional is still my favorite.)

I started off by drawing the girl, who in this case is me. Generally when I am drawing a woman in the picture, she is representative of me. If the piece is for someone else, I make it representative of them. I think it means more that way. For someone to be able to connect with my art because I placed them in it.

When I started drawing, I honestly didn’t know what I was drawing or where it was going to go. That is really how it starts most of the time. I start by drawing a few shapes and it becomes something completely different than what I originally thought it would be. Sometimes I completely surprise myself. I like to think that this is how God ministers to me sometimes. By using my hands to draw an image that He knows will speak to me on a spiritual level.

The girl took me about 2 hours to get right and then the thought bubbles took me about 30 minutes to complete. Once the whole thing was finished, I sat there looking at it and finally realized how I had been feeling.

I was burnt out.

I felt as if I had a million things to do, not enough time to do them, and no one to help me complete any of them. It felt like my responsibilites were caving in and I had no where to go. So I emotionally, mentally and spiritually just sat down and put my head down praying that everything would just somehow go way.

This is not the case of course. My responsibilities are still there and sometimes I still feel burnt out and like everything is caving in. I have to learn how to say no to certain things when I can or how to delegate things to those around me. But most importantly, I need to learn how to rely on God. When we try to take on the whole world and try to do everything on our own or all at once, we get burnt out. We get overwhelmed. We are not meant to do anything on our own. In fact, we can not do anything on our own.

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.”

John 15:5

God is who we need to find our strength from. He is the One who provides everything for us. He gives us peace, courage, love, joy and all the other Fruits of the Spirit. (See Galations 5:22-23) If we are not walking with Him on a daily basis, then we will fall apart. We will be like fruit that has fallen off a vine too early and wither away.

God has so much more for you than that. God desires you to walk with him daily. He longs for a relationship with you. If you walk with Him, He will provide everything you need in order to face this world. Does that mean that your life is going to be perfect? Far from it. In fact it may get harder at times but you will have a loving God with you every step of the way.

I pray you know Him like I do.

I pray you find strength in Him if you are feeling burnt out lately.

I pray someone leads you to Christ if you do not know him.

How can I pray for you?

comment below or send me an email or message. I would love to pray for and with you.

Until next time,

God Bless.

11
Oct, 2019

Crazy Ride

Everything leading up to the art show has been one crazy ride. I have been moving so fast that I have honestly forgotten what it is like to sit still. The Art show was so much fun and I had a great time talking to new people and talking about what God has done for me through my art.

(Thank you for those of you who were able to come and support me. For those who weren’t, I hope to be in more shows, so stay tuned! )

I know this whole thing with the art show was God in every way. From start to finish, there is no way I could have done this on my own without my husband or God. Being in this show, allowed me to speak to people that I may never see again. It allowed me to get God’s message to people who may not be exposed to it anywhere else. Monday night, I felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

Now that the show is over, my mind wonders, now what?

What is in store for Eph210ArtStudio? This little art business that has come out of getting ready for the show. I feel like all of my energy was put into getting ready for this show for so long, that now I have to refocus on what God has for me. The message has not changed. The purpose of why I do art has not changed but I know God has more for me.

However, right now, I hear Him telling me to rest. This is not a blog about me taking time away from art or the blog in order to recover. This is about what God is saying to me and I hope he speaks to you too.

My life has been so busy lately, and I know I talked about it last week too but this week I am feeling the relief of the show being over and feeling that I can finally take time for myself. That I can be me and not worry what anyone else thinks. That I can spend time with the God who created and loves me and not worry about the time or having to get stuff done.

A song that I have heard a lot lately is “Nothing Else” by Cody Carnes. That talks about getting back to spending time to with God. To just sit with God and be with Him and not come with our agenda or anything that we want.

I’m caught up in your presence. I just want to sit here at Your feet .I’m caught up in this holy moment. I never want to leave Oh, I’m not here for blessings Jesus, You don’t owe me anything More than anything that You can do I just want You

“Nothing Else” by Cody Carnes

My favorite part of this song is where he says he just wants to sit at God’s feet and that he never wants to leave. This speaks to my soul. I see myself sitting before the feet of Father God, leaning against Him, in desperate need of the rest that only He can give. The song continues with saying that nothing else will do. And that is so true. Nothing else will provide rest, joy, comfort, strength or peace that God provides.

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

Psalm 46:10

When we actually stop and recognize that God is God and we are not, and we give him our full hearts, there is an amazing peace and rest that overcomes. This is what I am needing now. This is what I feel God calling me to do. Just to sit at His feet and be with Him. Leaving all my worries with Him and enjoying His Presence.

I encourage you to find time this week to do this. Our lives are so hectic and crazy that it seems almost impossible to do that. Yet, if we just took five minutes each day to spend with Him, you would be amazed at how much more rested and at peace you would feel.

Start with five minutes.

See What God will do with five minutes of your time.

Until next time,

God Bless.

5
Oct, 2019

Burnt Out

Feeling Alone

The last two months have been crazy! I did not realize until this week just how crazy everything has been. I have not slowed down since school started in August or since I found out I was going to be in this art show. (Which I am still excited about.)

This week was probably the hardest week I have had in a long time. I was getting frustrated at everything thing, even the little things. I was crying at the drop of a hat and woke up every morning feeling extremely depressed. It honestly felt like I was going crazy. I didn’t draw or paint or anything until Wednesday when I drew the picture attached with this post. I didn’t feel like drawing anything. I was either too tired from work or getting ready fro the show or crying and curled up in bed.

Usually I know how to handle my anxiety when it goes crazy but depression is another issue all together. The techniques I use to over come my anxiety generally don’t work to overcome my depression. I finally drew the girl on the ledge when I had some time for me. Even though it was only a 30 second sketch in pen, I was able to show how I felt. It was the first time all week I had been able to do that.

It was then that I realized how burnt out I am. With work. With Art. With church. With everything that requires something of me because all I have been doing for the last two months is taking care of other people and making sure they are okay and have whatever they need. I haven’t stopped long enough to do something I want to do, not because I am in a show or because someone wants something but because I want to do it.

For the first time in a long time, I am seeing the value in rest and alone time. I’ve always known that these things are important but this time it has hit me really hard. God has shown me that if I do not get rest and time alone with Him, I fall into depression because I am trying to do everything myself.

So for the week after the art show, I am taking time for myself. I already have a day picked out. It may be something like taking myself out to dinner or just sitting on my patio listening to music. Whatever it is, I am doing it for me. Because I need to take care of myself too.

If you have ever felt like this and been where I have been this week, please find time to take care of yourself and rest. Rest is important and God made us to rest. He rested on the 7th day after creation, not because He needed it but because He was demonstrating what He knew we would need. Genesis 2:2-3

Jesus went off to be alone by himself several times in the New Testament. One particular time, it was after he had been teaching and preaching all day to large crowds of people and he needed to rest.

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 
29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 
30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30

I pray that you find rest this week. I pray the same for myself.

Until next time, God bless.

17
Aug, 2019

Studying the Word.

The last two weeks have been crazy busy, which is why I didn’t blog last weekend. (Sorry about that). This week I started back at work and basically hit the ground running in order to prepare for school starting this coming week. For this reason I have not had the time or energy to draw or paint anything yet. Though I do have a piece I am working on. Hopefully I can finish it and blog about it soon.

I decided today i would talk about what I have learned in Ephesians so far and the importance of studying God’s word.

As Christians, we are called to share the Gospel and what God has done for us. Yet, how can we do that if we never open our bibles? If we don’t actually read what God has to say to us? We can’t. Sure we can memorize some speech we developed from going to church but it wouldn’t be nearly as effective if we read the Word.

I have trouble deciding where to start when I read the Bible. There are so many books of the bible and bible studies and study aids that it all seems overwhelming sometimes. So I picked the book that holds one of my life verses. (I’ll do a separate blog on Ephesians 2:10)

Ephesians 1 can be broke into two parts: blessings and prayer. Verses 3-14 discuss 7 different blessings that God has given us.

What I take away from these verses is that no matter our situation or circumstances, we are blessed. God has given us every blessing in the spiritual and heavenly places. (Vs3) When we accept Christ, we are adopted into the family of God. (Vs4-5) Because of Christ, we are forgiven and redeemed. (Vs.6-7) God reveals to us the mystery of His will. (Vs.9-10) We have an inheritance in Christ. (Vs.11-12) We are included in Christ (vs.13) and lastly, we have been given the Holy Spirit as a guarantee of our salvation. (Vs.14)

This is a lot to look at, so I am only going to really talk about the ones that stood out to me.

First of all, the fact that we are blessed beyond more than we can know hits me. Dealing with depression and anxiety, sometimes it is hard for me to look past the situation at hand. I tend to focus on how I feel or what is right in front of me, which just makes things worse and I get stuck in my mind. Looking at Ephesians 1:3 shows me that no matter how I feel or how bad I think things might be, God is with me and has already given me so many blessings.

The second one that sticks out to me is that we are adopted into God’s family. We are chosen to be in His family. He wants us and loves us despite our sin. If no one has ever made you feel wanted, know that God wants you. He loves you to the point that He sent His son to die for you. He wants you to be included in His family of believers. As someone who is considering adoption in order to start a family, this means alot to me. I want my children to understand that we chose them. Just as God has chosen them. Just as God has chosen me.

The last one I wanted to touch on is that we are included in Christ. Growing up, I was often left out of things. I was chosen last for sports or not at all. Not because I wasn’t athletic or didn’t like sports but because some people didn’t like me. I hung out with the kids that no one else would talk to at school and so no one outside of that group wanted to include me. But o am included in Christ. I am wanted and I am loved in Him. He sees me for who I am and will choose me to be on his team. I find comfort in this.

Which blessing stands out to you?

Leave a comment and let’s start a discussion.

Praying you sees these blessings in your life this week.

Until next time, God bless.