I love doing art. It is my therapy. When I am not creating something, or haven’t created something for a long period of time, depression and anxiety set in. When it sets in like this, sometimes it is hard to pull myself out of it in order to start creating again. This happened last week when I was working on some pouring paint experiments. One day, I was extremely depressed, seemingly for no reason at all, which just made things worse, in my mind. I couldn’t bring myself to do anything except lay on the couch and watch tv or scroll on Facebook. My heart was just so heavy. So I did nothing.

The next day was better and I had the energy to get into creating something so I continued my experimentation with pouring paint. Up to this point, I have already dabbled a little with pouring paints with my mom. During Christmas vacation, she and I would go to the store and get everything we needed: the paint, canvas, cups, something to hold to canvas up. Last year I used a wine bottle to pour the paint on. It worked. So every so often, usually when I don’t have much else to inspire me, I play around with pouring paint.

The hardest thing about pouring paint, is knowing what colors to choose to begin with. Choose the wrong ones, and the piece can come out dull and dark when you were really going for bright and vibrant. This is frustrating at times but as I play around with color theory, I think I’ll get the hang of it. The thing I love the most about pouring paint as how the colors mix and if you choose the right ones, the results can be amazing.

I love watching the paint fall from side to side of the canvas as I move it around, The colors interact with one another as they elegantly move on the canvas, almost as if they are dancing. Watching it can almost be hypnotizing. It is also messy as the paint pours off the canvas, which is where gloves come in handy. While the gloves protect your skin, the gloves themselves become messy and if you don’t change the gloves out before moving to a different canvas, that canvas will become messy before you have even started. As I work on a pouring paint canvas, moving my messy gloved hands from one side of the back of the canvas to the other, I leave messy paint fingerprints all over the backside of the canvas.

It didn’t hit me until I saw the back of the pouring paint canvas as my husband was attaching the picture wiring. For a split second I thought, “I should paint the back so it doesn’t look so messy.” Then it hit me. People only pay attention to what is on the front of the canvas; to the point an artist is wanting to make.

No one sees the back of the canvas.

No one pays attention to the back of the canvas.

Society tells us to not show “the back of the canvas” to anyone. This is where all of our broken pieces are. Where our hurt and pain live. Where our depression and anxiety try to choke out any happiness that we may have been feeling. If we so much as show that to the rest of the world, we are called crazy or lazy or other terms because people do not understand what we have been through or how we feel.

So we keep hiding the back of our canvas in hopes that we never get hurt again.

Yet there is One who sees the back of the canvas.

The Artist.

The One who created everything in the first place.

 In his hand are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to him.  The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land.

Psalm 95:4-5

This is what God the LORD says— the Creator of the heavens, who stretches them out, who spreads out the earth with all that springs from it, who gives breath to its people, and life to those who walk on it.

Isaiah 42:5

God is the one who see the mess that happened there and He says that it is beautiful. He knows exactly what each messy finger was doing during the creation of the art work. He knows of your pain, hurt, depression, anxiety and whatever else you have been hiding from others for all these years.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Isaiah 29:11

Just because you went through something or are going through something, does not mean you were going through it alone. He is walking with you ever step of the way and when He isn’t walking with you, He is carrying you in His arms as He walks through it for you.

The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, 3 he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. 4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley ,I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Psalm 23

I love Psalm 23. It gives me such peace knowing that no matter what I walk though, God is with me no matter what. He is there in the times of peace, even though I tend to forget that, and He is there in the times of struggle.

He is there. You just have to let him in.

I pray that you show Christ the back of your canvas and give it to Him. Let him walk with you and carry you as you cling to Him, the creator of the Universe. Who knew the world needed you. He created you for a reason and for a purpose. Not just for the good times on the front of the canvas, but for the messy times too. It is the mess on the back of the canvas that makes the beautiful art work possible. The things that we go through are all there for a reason and make the good times that much better and make our relationship with Him, that much stronger.

I pray that you know Him as I do.

I pray that you have someone in your life who can be the light of Christ to you if you do not know Him yet.

Until Next time,

God Bless.